Want to know from experience what to do or not to do. What is a dealbreaker and what women learn to accept.What is the best and realistic advice you can give me as a newlywed 24 yr old with one child?
Myself, woman of a happy 22 yr. marraige. Be honest in your relationship, marriage is a Holy institution, he comes first before others so do not flirt w/other men.. Don't put him down in front of other people. Generally speaking, men are not big 'discussion' people, if they can't solve an issue they usually withdraw from the problem. We as females just need to talk about problems, feelings, etc. they don't,- IF they can't fix it. If he likes to relax playing i.e. video games, let him. He's your husband , not your physciatrist, let him relax when he's home, and give him some space. Men are sometimes awkward about gift giving, they just don't 'get it,' so don't be afraid of prompts. A home cooked meal is still important to a man. Let him discipline the child without interfering, keep your comments for later. Sometimes women will see a not -so- pretty girl with a very attractive man and wonder 'what's so special about her? he could have done a lot better' but what they don't see is her non-nagging inner sprirt, and he loves that. I am an American wife, and I have lived in other countries, even the housewife in Paris doesn't treat her husband as shamefully as American women do. We in this country often lack respect for the man we chose to marry but you'll do well if you keep a warm heart towards him.What is the best and realistic advice you can give me as a newlywed 24 yr old with one child?
Are you looking for general advice about marriage? If so..well I will give you some based on my experience. I was 24 when I got married, had my baby weeks before my 26th birthday and now I think I am pregnant with my second child.
Marriage is made possible by the grace of God! Trust and love are the foundation. Dont expect it to be super perfect because you and your husband are two different people- trying to live together. There will be clushes here and there, arguing and all that- but just be patient, be happy....accept that your husband is the man you chose to be with, learn to forgive if he upsets you. When you see another attractive man out on the street, or in the store- dont lust for him, just find something your huband has that the other guy doesnt, and feel special!
Marriage is a beautiful blessing, cherish it and let God be your guide! I had some challenges too, but I have learnt to accept that its not about ME/I anymore, but US/WE...
Keep that in mind, and everything will be OK. God bless
What advice do you need? Please be more specific.
The first year is the hardest. There are so many things you have to get used to in the other person. And now you have a piece of paper that doesn't just allow you to walk out. With that security, people feel more at ease letting their emotions fly. Eventually, you get into a groove and things calm down. Congrats and good luck.
Forgive quickly
Pick your battles. You get one chance at this life, and it is never perfect but you can make it a great one. Love with all of your heart, never settle and enjoy life. Don't take simple things for granted, and stand up for yourself and your child. Stand up for your marriage. Be happy and make your child's life a happy one. A deal breaker would be anything that brings you down as a person. Accept that there are some things we cannot change.
You need to approach the good and the bad in the relationship as a team, and try to incorporate your significant other into as many aspects of your life as possible. I hope you have better luck than I have had.
swallow
Tolerance and Compromise.
we're a little older than you, (newlyweds) but no children, but i do have to say something. I think alot of times, older older, married couples tell us that marriage is difficult but do you ever notice that they never tell you about their own reeeal experiences. I have learned to accept the fact that having little or ne sex doesn't mean he is cheating and doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or think you are unattractive, but that patience is very important. Also that if this time ever comes for you guys, before throwing the relationship aside even if infidelity has already happened, think to yourself, is this really the type of relationship that i want, can i live like this for 45 years? Then think to yourself, about the vows you made and why? What i thought was that even after the sex is gone or possible infidelity's took place, we can work things out because it wasn't bad enough for us to be apart, and i would rather be with this person and work it through more than any one else in the world as my friend for life then to live without them. There's not one person that can replace my best friend.
Everyone is different, no universal deal breakers- it's not that easy Sweety!
There is no secret to a lasting relationship. My advice is to always communicate, argue if you have to, be honest with eachother so resentment doesn't build, enjoy eachother, enjoy watching your child grow up. Don't ignore the marriage, or the love, it needs attention.
Congradulations!
I know your child's # 1 and it should be that way, just don't forget about the guy that helped make the baby.
I've seen a lot of divorces come from ppl. growing apart. As my wife and I have done 4 kids later is keep our love alive.
We have friends that the wife is all about the kids, the husband is just a by product, their still together, for now, but when their kids reach adulthood POOF, I'll lay money their done.
Just remember when your kids are grown and gone you don't want to be sitting across the table from a total stranger, and in 18-20 yrs. from now that what you'll be if you two don't keep the romance alive.
At least once a month plan on being by yourselves, if you have family make it an all night date, I'm sure you guys can figure something to do, even if it's sleep, together, all night, then go out for breakfast.
If you work as hard staying in love as you both do loving that baby you'll be just fine
What to do: Love your spouse with all of your heart and when times are bad, love them more.
What not to do: Do not have any kind of sex with anyone other than your spouse, for any reason. Never lose sight of your wedding vows.
Dont see your husband as perfect. I say that meaning...dont believe that he cant make any mistakes. Alot of people go into a marriage thinking unrealistic thinking that their partner couldnt possibly do anything wrong or dissapointing. Be open to the possiblility that there will be bad times and also good times but nothing will ever be perfect. Also you and your spouse are a team there is no I in team. Even though you may not think your child can understand or maybe you do...but your child will notice how much his/her parents love eachother. The best gift a father can give to his child is his love for his mother. Always love and learn to forgive. :) :)
Okay, but you're not gonna like it. You both have to go into it expecting to give 80% but only expecting to get 20%. Pick your battles. Keep in mind how you felt in the beginning, and how you wanted to do everything for him. You have to learn to live together as partners. Does it all sound trite? It may, but it's all true, if you want your marriage to work. Getting past the first couple of years is the hardest until around the 7th year, when you'll go through the same thing again. Then most of the kinks will be worked out. Good luck, and keep smiling. As long as he comes home at night, and you know he loves you, you've got it made.
I think the parent of your child is not your spouse?
Check out these co-parenting websites, to help ';smooth'; the relationship with your child's parent and to make it easier on your child.
Check out these step-family web sites... to help you and your husband deal with blending a family.
Also, here is a marriage support website--for advice for the marriage.
www.local.com also can link you to things in the community, such as play groups, step-parent support groups, etc to help you adjust to these changes.
Remember.... the secret to ANY good relationship is COMMUNICATION. Do it often, friendly, and make it run both ways.
Good luck!
